How to Stop Repeating Yourself: Making Your Requests Stick

1 August 2025

Ever feel like a broken record, constantly repeating yourself to your kids? You ask them once, twice, maybe even five times before they actually listen—if they listen at all. It’s exhausting, isn’t it?

You're not alone. Many parents struggle with this daily battle, but the good news is that there are practical ways to make your requests stick the first time around. Let’s dive into why kids ignore us, what we might be doing wrong, and how to fix it so you can stop repeating yourself once and for all.

Why Do Kids Ignore Us?

Before we tackle solutions, let's take a moment to understand the problem. Why do children seem to "tune out" their parents?

1. They've Learned to Wait You Out

Kids are smart. If they’ve noticed that you say things over and over again before enforcing them, they learn they don’t have to respond immediately. They know they have three or more chances before you actually mean business.

2. Too Many Instructions at Once

Ever rattled off a list of things your child needs to do before school? "Brush your teeth, put on your shoes, grab your backpack, don’t forget your lunch!" It’s overwhelming. Kids often shut down when given too many commands at once.

3. Lack of Engagement

Shouting instructions across the room while your child is glued to their tablet? That’s a recipe for being ignored. If they're not engaged, they're not listening.

4. No Clear Consequence

If there’s no follow-through when they don’t listen, they don’t see a reason to change their behavior. They simply assume they can get away with ignoring you.

How to Make Your Requests Stick

Now that we know why kids ignore us, let's focus on how to get them to actually listen the first time.

1. Get Their Full Attention

Instead of yelling from across the room, walk up to your child, make eye contact, and say their name. A gentle touch on the shoulder can also help. When they’re fully focused on you, they’re more likely to absorb what you’re saying.

Example: Instead of shouting, “Put your toys away!” from the kitchen, walk over, kneel to their level, and say, “Hey Sam, I need you to put your toys away now.”

2. Keep It Brief and Clear

Long instructions can be overwhelming. Keep it short, simple, and direct.

✅ Say this: "Please put your shoes on now."
❌ Not this: "We're running late, and I really need you to put your shoes on because we're going to miss the bus if you don’t hurry!"

The more concise you are, the easier it is for your child to follow through.

3. Make Requests Positive and Encouraging

Instead of nagging, try rephrasing your requests in a positive way.

✅ Say this: "Show me how quickly you can put your backpack on!"
❌ Not this: "Ugh, I always have to remind you to grab your backpack!"

Kids respond better to encouragement than criticism.

4. Use the "When-Then" Technique

This helps establish natural consequences without sounding like a threat.

✅ Say this: "When you finish your homework, then you can watch TV."
❌ Not this: "If you don’t do your homework, you won’t get screen time!"

The "when-then" approach keeps it neutral, preventing power struggles.

5. Apply Natural Consequences

If your child ignores a request, let a natural consequence follow.

For example, if they don’t put their shoes on, they might have to walk to the car barefoot (assuming it's safe). No yelling, no stress—just a direct result of their choices.

When kids experience the consequences of their actions, they’re more likely to listen next time.

6. Ask Them to Repeat the Request

After giving a direction, ask, “What did I just ask you to do?” This ensures they heard you correctly and understood the expectation.

If they answer correctly, say, “Great! Now go ahead and do it.”

7. Follow Through Consistently

This might be the hardest part, but it's also the most important. If you repeat yourself 10 times before implementing a consequence, your child will wait for that pattern every time.

If they don’t listen the first time, don’t repeat yourself—take action instead. This could mean turning off the TV until they do what was asked or calmly helping them get started.

8. Offer Choices to Encourage Cooperation

Kids love feeling like they have some control. Instead of demanding, try offering two choices.

✅ Say this: "Do you want to brush your teeth first or put on pajamas first?"
❌ Not this: "Brush your teeth right now!"

Giving them a say in the process boosts cooperation without making them feel like they’re being bossed around.

9. Use a Calm, Firm Tone

If you sound unsure, your child picks up on that hesitation. Speak with confidence, but stay calm. If you raise your voice too often, they might start tuning you out altogether.

10. Praise and Reinforce Good Listening

As much as we correct bad behavior, we also need to praise good behavior. When your child listens the first time, acknowledge it!

✅ Say this: "I love how you listened right away when I asked you to pick up your toys!"

Positive reinforcement builds a habit of good listening.

What to Do When They Still Don't Listen

Even with all these strategies, there will still be times when kids ignore requests. Here’s how to handle those moments:

- Stay patient: Getting frustrated won’t help—stay calm and firm.
- Give them a moment: Some kids need a few seconds to process what you've asked.
- Use humor or playfulness: Instead of demanding, turn it into a game: "I bet I can pick up more toys than you in 30 seconds!"
- Avoid power struggles: If your child is digging in their heels, take a step back and try again later when emotions are calmer.

Final Thoughts

Parenting is tough, and getting kids to listen without repeating yourself can feel like an uphill battle. But with the right approach—getting their attention, being clear, enforcing consequences, and staying consistent—you can break the cycle of constant nagging.

Next time you feel the urge to repeat yourself, pause and try one of these strategies instead. You might be surprised at how much more your kids respond when they know you mean what you say the first time.

And remember, progress takes time. Stick with it, and soon enough, your words will start to carry more weight—without the endless repetition.