Post Game Parenting

May 29, 2026 - 07:56

Dr. Chelsey Bowman, a sports psychologist at Children's National Hospital, recently appeared on a local morning show to offer crucial advice for parents and caregivers on how to talk to young athletes after a game. The period immediately following a competition, often spent in the car or at the dinner table, can be a minefield of emotional landmines. Dr. Bowman's guidance focuses on shifting the conversation from outcome to effort.

According to Dr. Bowman, the most common mistake parents make is launching into a critique or a play-by-play analysis right after the final whistle. Young athletes, especially children, are often still processing their own feelings of disappointment, excitement, or frustration. Instead of asking "Did you win?" or "Why didn't you pass the ball?", she recommends a simple, open-ended question: "How did it feel out there?" This invites the child to share their own perspective without feeling judged.

The key, she emphasizes, is to listen more than you talk. Parents should validate their child's emotions, whether it's sadness over a loss or joy over a personal best. The goal is not to fix the game or offer a coaching session, but to provide a safe emotional landing pad. Dr. Bowman also advises against comparing siblings or teammates, and suggests focusing on one or two specific things the child did well, such as a good defensive play or showing great hustle. By separating the child's self-worth from the scoreboard, parents can foster a healthier, more resilient approach to sports and competition. The ultimate takeaway is simple: let the child lead the conversation, and make the car ride home a place of support, not a second game.