Parenting traps with Dr. Candice Nicole Hargon

January 24, 2026 - 04:51

A common but corrosive dynamic, where romantic partners begin to parent each other, is a significant threat to intimacy and connection. This pattern, often called the "parent trap," involves one or both individuals taking on a supervisory or corrective role, treating their partner more like a child than an equal.

According to psychologist Dr. Candice Nicole Hargons, this shift from peer to parent has measurable negative effects. Her research indicates that men in these scenarios often report a marked decrease in sexual interest. Women, conversely, may experience a loss of physical attraction or even feel bodily discomfort, such as tensing up, when their partner engages in parental behaviors.

The path to repairing the relationship requires a conscious dismantling of these roles. Dr. Hargons advises couples to cease all supervision of each other's actions and choices. Each person must fully own their individual adult responsibilities without interference or reminders from their partner. Crucially, the focus must shift from trying to fix or manage one another to viewing each other as teammates. The core solution lies in seeing a significant other as a true partner in life, not as a personal project in need of guidance or correction. Rebuilding this foundation of mutual respect and autonomy is essential for restoring both emotional and physical closeness.