I built a village before becoming a mom. It disappeared after birth.

March 30, 2026 - 04:01

Many expecting parents are advised to "build your village" before a baby arrives. I took this to heart, meticulously cultivating a network of friends, family, and community support during my pregnancy. I felt prepared and surrounded by care. However, the village I worked so hard to construct disappeared almost overnight when my reality of motherhood became more complex than anticipated.

My daughter was born with significant disabilities. The casseroles and congratulatory visits quickly dried up. The offers to babysit evaporated. It seemed my new world of medical appointments, therapies, and profound uncertainty was a place where my old village felt unable or unwilling to tread. The silence was deafening.

This experience highlights a painful gap in our communal support structures. We rally around traditional new motherhood but often retreat when faced with a more challenging, non-linear journey. The isolation can be crippling for parents navigating disability, chronic illness, or other complex paths. My story is not unique; it's a call for deeper, more sustained compassion. True support means showing up not just for the celebration, but for the long and often difficult road that follows, especially when it diverges from the expected path.