How parents can manage college drop-off anxiety

August 13, 2026 - 02:02

The car is packed, the dorm room list is checked twice, and the mini-fridge is in the trunk. For millions of families, this is the week of the big send-off. But while your teenager is buzzing about roommate meetings and meal plans, you might be quietly dreading the drive home. That knot in your stomach is real, and parenting expert Bethany Braun-Silva says it is completely normal.

Braun-Silva, who has spent years counseling families through big transitions, explains that college drop-off is a unique kind of grief. It is not about losing a child, but about losing the daily rhythm of having them around. The silence in the hallway, the empty chair at the dinner table, and the lack of dirty laundry on the floor can feel deafening. She advises parents to name that feeling instead of pushing it away. Call it what it is: a big change. Then, give yourself a concrete plan for the first week.

Her top tip is to set a communication schedule before you even say goodbye. Do not promise to text every hour, because that sets everyone up for failure. Instead, agree on a simple check-in, like a daily goodnight text or a Sunday video call. This gives your student freedom and gives you a reliable anchor. Also, she suggests planning something for yourself on move-in day plus one. Book a dinner with a friend, take a long walk, or start a new book. Having a fixed activity gives your brain a new focus.

Most importantly, do not check their social media or location tracker obsessively. That feeds the anxiety. Trust the skills you have been building for eighteen years. If they forget to call, it usually means they are busy making friends, not that they are in trouble. The goal is to raise an independent adult, and this is the first big test for both of you. You will both survive, and you might even discover a new, deeper connection with your young adult. Just remember to breathe, and maybe buy some tissues for the car ride home.