How a Simple Breathing Exercise Can Calm a Tantrum

16 July 2025

Parenting is an incredible journey, but let’s be honest—tantrums can test even the most patient souls. Whether it's a full-blown meltdown in the middle of the grocery store or an emotional outburst at bedtime, tantrums are a normal part of childhood.

But what if I told you that a simple breathing exercise could be the magic trick to help calm the storm? It sounds almost too good to be true, right? Well, stick with me because this one small technique can make a world of difference in how you handle tantrums and teach your child emotional regulation at the same time.

Why Do Tantrums Happen?

Before we dive into the breathing exercise, it’s helpful to understand why tantrums happen in the first place.

Toddlers and young children experience big emotions, but they don't always have the words to express them. Frustration, hunger, fatigue, or overstimulation can quickly spiral into overwhelming meltdowns. Their brains are still developing emotional regulation skills, and when those emotions bubble over, the result is often a loud, teary tantrum.

Think of it this way—imagine feeling so angry or upset but not knowing how to communicate it. That frustration would be unbearable, right? That’s exactly what’s happening to your child.

Luckily, one of the easiest and most effective ways to help them regain control is through breathing exercises.

How Deep Breathing Helps Calm a Tantrum

Breathing might seem like such a simple thing, but it has a powerful impact on the brain and body.

When a child is in the middle of a tantrum, their body's fight-or-flight response kicks in. Their heart races, their breathing becomes shallow, and their brain is flooded with stress hormones. Deep, intentional breathing helps slow the heart rate, lower stress hormones, and bring the brain back to a calm state.

It’s like pressing the reset button on their emotions.

The best part? This technique isn't just for tantrums—it’s a lifelong skill that can help your child manage stress, anxiety, and frustration as they grow.

The Magic Breathing Exercise: "Balloon Breaths"

Now that we know why breathing is effective, let's get into the actual technique. One of the best breathing exercises for kids is what I like to call "Balloon Breaths."

How to Teach Balloon Breaths

Here’s how it works:

1. Get Their Attention – First, gently bring your child's attention to their breathing. If they're too upset to listen, try getting on their level, making eye contact, and using a calm, soothing voice.

2. Pretend to Blow Up a Balloon – Ask your child to imagine they are holding a balloon in their hands.

3. Big Inhale Through the Nose – Encourage them to take a deep breath in through their nose, filling their belly like they are blowing up a big balloon. You can even have them place their hands on their belly to feel it expanding.

4. Slow Exhale Through the Mouth – Have them slowly blow out through their mouth as if they are releasing the air from the balloon.

5. Repeat 3-5 Times – Continue this process for at least three to five breaths, or until their body starts to relax.

Why This Works

The visual of a balloon keeps kids engaged, and the act of slowing down their breath naturally calms their nervous system. It gives them something to focus on other than their overwhelming emotions.

It might take a few tries, especially if your child is in the middle of an intense tantrum, but the more you practice this exercise together, the easier it will become.

When to Use This Breathing Exercise

Timing is everything when it comes to calming a tantrum. Here are a few ways you can incorporate balloon breaths into your parenting toolbox:

1. Before a Meltdown Happens

Prevention is key! If you notice your child starting to get frustrated or overwhelmed, guide them through a few deep breaths before the tantrum fully erupts.

2. During a Tantrum (If They’re Responsive)

Sometimes, mid-meltdown, kids are too overwhelmed to engage. But if they’re open to it, you can gently guide them through the exercise. Use a calm voice and model deep breathing yourself to encourage them.

3. After a Tantrum to Reset

Even if you couldn’t stop the tantrum in the moment, practicing balloon breaths afterward helps them transition back to a calmer state. Plus, it reinforces the habit for the future.

4. As Part of a Daily Routine

Make deep breathing a regular thing! Practicing when your child is already calm makes it more effective when they actually need it. Try doing a few balloon breaths together in the morning, before bed, or when transitioning between activities.

Teaching Kids Emotional Regulation Through Breathing

Beyond just calming a tantrum, breathing exercises teach children an incredible life skill—emotional regulation. When kids learn that they have the power to calm their own bodies, they gain confidence in handling their emotions.

Think of it as giving them a “superpower” they can use whenever they feel overwhelmed.

Ways to Encourage Breathing Skills:

- Make It Fun – Turn breathing into a game! Use stuffed animals, bubbles, or their favorite characters to get them engaged.
- Lead by Example – Kids mimic what they see. If they see you using deep breathing to stay calm, they’ll be more likely to do the same.
- Use Positive Reinforcement – Praise them when they use their breathing skills. Let them know how proud you are of them!

What If My Child Refuses to Breathe?

Not every child will cooperate immediately—especially in the heat of a tantrum. If they resist, don’t push it. Instead, focus on modeling calm behavior yourself. Sometimes, just sitting quietly next to them and taking deep breaths yourself is enough to encourage them to do the same.

If they’re old enough, you can also talk to them about how breathing helps their body. Keep it simple:

> "When we take big breaths, it helps our heart slow down and makes our body feel better."

Consistency is key. Even if they refuse at first, keep introducing the concept in calmer moments. Over time, they’ll start to understand its benefits.

The Power of Presence: Staying Calm as a Parent

Let’s be real—handling tantrums is hard. No parent enjoys the screaming, crying, or flailing limbs. But the way we react plays a huge role in how quickly our kids can calm down.

If we can stay calm and centered, our children are more likely to follow our lead. Deep breathing isn’t just for kids—it works wonders for parents too!

So next time you feel your frustration rising, take a deep breath yourself. Breathe in for four counts, hold for four, and exhale for four. It’s a small act, but it can shift your entire response to the situation.

Final Thoughts

Tantrums are a normal part of childhood, but they don’t have to feel like a battle. A simple breathing exercise like Balloon Breaths can be a game-changer in helping your child (and you!) navigate big emotions.

The key is practice and patience. The more you integrate deep breathing into daily life, the more natural it will become. And before you know it, your child will have a powerful tool to calm themselves—not just during tantrums, but in any stressful situation life throws their way.

So take a deep breath, mama (or papa)—you’ve got this!